Saturday, June 4, 2011

Vietnam -- Confessions Of a Sweet tooth addict

Why don't they make a James Bond movie entitled Chocolatefinger?

I am totally convinced that a life cast of the Goldfinger girl filled with chocolate would have been sexy as all get out. And, at $500 for each sale of the full size chocolate figure, the chocolate girl would make more money than the movie and cost less to create.

The solid chocolate cast could have been covered in gold edible icing.  Of course, the movie guys would have to do the dead girl in bed scene much quicker otherwise there would have been a less distinct glob of chocolate in the bed.

Just one publicity picture of that, would have really been sweet!

Of course Bond would have had to come up with a really smart retort other than "Shocking, simply socking." I'm sure you could come up with a better one than these:

"Smores served on a slik sheet."

"Smothered in chocolate."

"Another way to die."

I think when I get out, I'll try making minitures of movie stars and singers. Might be a real sweet deal. Who knows.

I'd buy one. In fact, the way I see it, if I'm going to die in Vietnam, put a body bag and fill it with milk chocolate and I would be in seventh heaven.

I haven't figured out the purpose of 1st,2nd,3rd,4th,5th, or 6th heaven is all about yet.  Guess those are someone's idea of a multi level marketing scheme to sell to living flesh a spiritual perch on the perly gates.

I think too much about sex and dream of having my cake and eat it too.  Where's my John Wayne bar? Maybe, I can melt it into a scaled down version of the something I can't have.

Saw in Playboy where a guy was making the private parts public by making molds of then and then filling the molds up with chocolate.

An art form known as Pointlessism.

Who would want to just eat the pares and volcano plume when all the rest of the terain features are just as tantalizing.

You can't perform tongue reconnoiter correctly with just one or two parts available, your tongue wants to explore all the surfaces inbetween just to orient your placement of the rest of the terrain features.

That way, when you have a clear understanding of where to place the body in total darkness, you hit the right LZ. And, come on, when you are still cherry as a cherry can be, practice on a lifesized chocolate girl is the ultimate tutor.

A full fledged dive into the full course of the all out dinner cruise over the sea of sensuality would not be boring, that's for sure.

Consider some of the other options. Dark chocolate, milk chocolate, white chocolate and boston cream filled chocolate could be equally as attractive. Come to think of it a peanut butter filled chocolate cast would be delicious.

Only problem with the peanut butter filled chocolate cast, looks like shit in the moring. Speaking of which...okay, I won't go there.

But sexy chocolate isn't the only thing a horney sweet tooth has on his mind. Next to girls, a chocolate AH-1G Cobra -- pardon the cliche -- tops the cake. Someone once said make the Cobra look sexy...there you go.

Of course none of these molded chocolate shapes could be as functional as the reall ones.  They just wouldn't do anything except melt in the sun. Which would be just fine save for the fact that once melted down, it would be like humpty dumpty and you couldn't put all the pieces back together again.

Guess you could put a hard chocolate shell on the outside.

Or create edible clothes.

Nothing is sacred here.

I can imagine a doughnut dolly walking around as a totally edible commodity.

When you're horney, even the ugly ones look pretty.

Have to go.  Sugar levels are low.  I just purchased a fresh supply of Hershey bars.

Time to eat breakfest. Chocolate on toast. Served with, what else, chocolate milk..

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